Ignorant Trees

How many times have I said 

those words to a listener

far away, and heard a reply

after a sigh and a slight delay

how oft has the city

absorbed that as its own;

do these walls and these streets 

suppose the homage is paid

to my urban home?

Do the bricks and the trees here realize

that whispered or sung

they're meant for only one

And he is far far away

Are there people here in my city

with loved ones around the world?

or will the ign'rant reign forever more

blindly atop a weak throne

Do you know how much it means to me

and why I utter it so much?

our love is vast, and intricate

like the deserts dust

And while I never want to share you

I'll make sure the whole world knows

with each uttered line and symbol

You make the whole world feel like home

I love you.

Love like Rockets

When you can look at the night sky, and feel your feet leave the earth,
the rocket ship of life taking off towards new stars
When you can stare at a blank white wall and feel the same
your soul take flight, your life alight
Every touch and breath is magic
and each look worth more than gold

When everything seems within reach
and even the darkness shines with promise
Where the endless sky and endless time collide
there is a star named just for us
And you just can't smile enough
Because you've never known such love

Your heart has never been so full
your head n'er seen such dreams
Your face can break into a smile
at all the simplest of things
for life is full of magic
horizons glow, paths alight,
You bring so much into my life!

If I ever wondered,
I never will again;
Life is far more beautiful
when you're in love with your best friend

:)

Concrete Conversations

Something about concrete, cold, hard concrete.
Such a comfort,
it calls to me when I am down
Come; sit, lie down
rest your battered soul
don't worry about your body
the rain will wash it clean
and you'll feel better
curl up right here
in the dark right now
stay till dawns light
I'll make it better somehow
the pain will fade
and numb you'll be
sleep will come
and maybe dreams
when you arise
stiff and sore
just remember what you came here for
to forget
and to ignore
now you've done that and even more
You've made it to the shining dawn
you've passed the test
you can move on
now stretch your legs
get on your feet
be on your way
and dwell no more
on cold hard ground,
that isn't where life is found
But when your eyes
graze hallowed skies
you'll know you really are alive
Go, my child
and fear ye not
life may be hard
but so am I
And from me to you,
we both go on

Butterflies, He told me.

Butterflies, he told me.
I have never been one of those girls. The pretty ones, the popular ones, the smart ones, the nice ones, the cool ones, the graceful ones, those ones. I have never been any one of them. I don't think it's because I'm not any of those things, just not the right amounts. Those girls, they are like beautiful desserts. It takes a special recipe to come out like one of them, and I am short on a few ingredients. And since I am not anything, like them, I must be nothing. I've always thought I was something of course, but what? Naturally, that makes me a nothing. Not made my nothing, just not any thing known yet. Pure loneliness and a little too much time to ponder poetically brewed the perfect pot tonight for me to be quietly, distantly torn to pieces about it. And he knew. Somehow.

And when he found out, he told me I was a butterfly.

Iceberg

 Some

 times I think 

  I might be just 

     ice. cold and unfeeling. beautiful 

                to look at destruction  waiting to happen an ice berg waiting in the ocean to ruin the 

unsuspecting voyagers who may come my way

seeking new lands adventure untold wealth a fresh 

        start and I end it before they arrive with my unseen mass

        they know I am coming they can see the ice but the truth they see 

         is not all it is not everything it is not all of me they see but a trick. 

I am more than they can handle. and I ruin them. just by being me. 

they think I am small but I am much larger than they could have ever inagined. 

deeper too. they think they know what they are getting into they think they 

understand but they can't because 

what they see is just the 

                            tip of the ice berg

Memories: Aisle Five

Walking, standing, riding the bus, walking, standing, walking.

The glass doors slide open, sensing my presence.

At least someone does.

And suddenly, out of the dark rain

I am thrust into this shiny yellow circus

Shelves, boxes, carts and people in every direction

Beeping rings through the air, mingled 

with voices; laughter

Ok, I have something to do here

I need food. I think

I don't really know, but I came here, so I must

Right?

People around me move with purpose

they have lists and a schedule:

food to buy, people to make it for

eat it with

I'm carrying an empty canvas bag

I make my way over to the produce section

produce is good...

I'm picking among the apples, looking for nothing

I grab two. then two more. 

Apples. Check. 

Now what? Oh yeah.

I have a science project coming up.

I wander down the pop aisle

looking for something I won't like

root beer. perfect. I grab a two liter. 

Somehow, I always end up down the candy aisle

when I come

missing you

I don't even really like candy that much

but you do

and I know what you like

it's easy to pick something you might eat.

Skittles this time, I finally head to a cash register.

Self check out, where I don't have to talk to anyone. 

I take so long setting my bag down

the attendant walks my way

I drop it on the counter

beep

beep 

beep

tap tap tap tap tap

beep

beep

tap tap 

swipe

shuffle shift whisk whisk

I slip the navy canvas over my shoulders and pad towards the door

getting stuck behind some students

students like me

out with friends on a Friday night

why do that have to do that?

Oh, right...that's what people do

just not me

I take quick steps through the cold air

stand in the mud by a bus stop

ride

sit

share my cookies with a stranger

he thanks me

I tell him to have a good night

walk

climb

open the door

put everything away

sit down

you're still gone

Loneliness isn't just for the lonely

broken hearts aren't reserved 

for those who've been left

and for me,

Aisle five, QFC. That's where

memories are kept. 

Grocery stores. Not for the faint in heart. 

I always say the wrong thing

I never seem to get it right
now matter just how hard I try
I'll wait all day
stay up all night
confess to dreams and fears alike
but when I say the simplest thing
you can't understand just what I mean
and though in whole we neatly fit
its these little things that might do it
so I've been told; so I worry still
please don't leave
stay
please say you will

Let's Get Lost

Let's run away
jump the fence
sneak through the door
make no plans
get the heck outta dodge
elope if it comes
see the world
hold my hand
break loose
get set free
prove there's nothing
there to stop us

But just for tonight darling, let's get lost

     --Partial lyrics credit: Bat for Lashes

Just a moment

Worry not young man
I shall not be too long
I'll leave the place in your capable hands
you wont notice that I've gone
I just need a moments break
rest from all you see
a moment without anyone
just one to be me
But I'll be back
so very soon
and when I come, you'll know
strength lies within
from eyes it shines

sometimes conquering occurs alone

A Lack of Color

Empty tones
hollow notes
enter my mind
fill in thoughts
I'd rather not
I think I won't
I'll wander out instead
anywhere that isn't here
this day started with sunshine
with colors bright and
breezes warm
the scents teased my heart
I could have stayed out all day
It's night time now
and nothing that was
is
anymore
its dark and cold
she's home again
tension and pressure
emanating from turned shoulders
empty conversation across the
airwaves
doing what must be done
all the bare minimums
show up here
say your piece
do this and that
and don't be late
I've done it all
all I can do
And into the stars I'll run
into the dark
where hues and shades fade fast
where looking back at planet earth
it seems beautiful at last

a lack of color
a solid darkness
no expectations
obligations
just you alone
and all you hold
is thought and known and felt
Just you, all you
and no one else
tonight is spent alone

loving you

I may not always like myself
I may not quite approve
of the way my nose sits
or the way my stomach moves
I may wish I didnt think so much
wish I didn't talk
but the truth is that I wouldn't change a thing
I love myself a lot

Life seems to be a journey
of progression and experience
and if I wasn't me,
then who would I be?

A small brunette with a button nose
sweet voice and designer clothes
A curvy latin diva
with hair and eyes to kill
but if you move your body,
you'll always get your will
A lanky blonde athletic girl
with legs that won her medals
I'd wear jeans and Nike shirts
and still make 'em jealous

The funny thing about these people
though they may have their own fun
is my life wouldn't be the same
if of them I were one.
I wouldn't think the same weird thoughts
or hear the sounds I hear
I wouldn't see the skies or ground
the way I've grown so dear

I wouldn't love the live I have
or all the people in it
and I'd never have my one true soul
to remind me every minute

I may not always like myself
but I am glad I'm me
in another life, with another man
I'd never want to be

I love myself
loving you

Dangerous Thoughts

Walking along a stone bridge,
my hand grazes the side
moving up with the posts
and down with the rail
I imagine the ground beneath me
if I took a sail

I don't look over the waist-high edge
I don't look beneath me
but I hear the cars whizzing past
so fast if I stepped out
there would be no time
and before they knew I was there
I wouldn't be anymore

The rain falls though unseen
silent drops upon my coat
wet on the ground
ignored by the world
it's too dark for observing
too dark for details
save those bathed in the yellow
of old and creaking lamp posts
the cracks in the sidewalk,
but only those
lighted, as they've always been.
the others don't exist
but you;ll feel them


I've never been really tempted
but tonight I am alone
I'm wet; have no direction
just trying to get home
I've been walking now for ages
through streets shadowed and bare
Cat calls and empty pages
my heart tries not to care
You haven't said a single word
not even one in anger
Concern fills me like a shallow ditch
worry; impending doom
so many things I could do
but how will I know which?

no tiny peek
no little glance
I will give no chance
to choose to try
see what its like
to fall beneath this blackened sky
to make these hours
stretch into days
and jump with no one there

I do not look
but I still  know
what grey and green lies down below
It's concrete steps and iron bars
mushy grass next to old cars

I'm not tempted, really
I don't really want to know
but I'll think some more
maybe forever
of the hardness of that blow
my body on the ground
in some big odd heap
with no one else around
I'll slip away to sleep

someone will find me
at some point
with their eyes or with their tires
and if I had no one to live for
that's what I'd want to do
I want to feel the wind
I want to hear the crunch
I want to know the damage
and if I can take the pain
would it kill me quickly
or will my landing be soft?

If I had nothing to live for
I might try it,
for fun.

Something about Today

Oh what a day what a beautiful day
the smells of the world wafting 'round
lights and sounds dance about
oh yes the earth is alive!
breathing and beating
'DO SOMETHING TODAY'
the whole place is singing!
run run run
raise up your arms
open your eyes
open your heart
the grass blades are moving
ideas floating in air
dont let them go
take a big breath and so
inhale the world
and breathe prospects fair
soar among the clouds
see the world through sunlight
take a peek through the fog
reach out to another
don't let your dreams down
be who you are
and love who you're not
and most of all live
for this life's all you've got